How the Cow Ate the Cabbage

 

by Pa Rock

Country Talker

Last weekend while visiting my son and his family in the Kansas City area, Tim and his wife, Erin, began discussing a rustic phrase that Tim had just come across, one that neither he nor Erin had heard before:  "How the cow ate the cabbage."  It was an old saying that I knew well, and it turns out Tim had come across it while reading something I had written.

"How the cow ate the cabbage" is an old expression from the hills that I undoubtedly heard from my parents or their friends, people who grew up in the Great Depression and came of age fighting the fascists in World War II.  Roughly translated, it means "to tell someone something in no uncertain terms."  It can also mean "to hear and understand something in no uncertain terms."   A certain degree of force is implied in its usage.

Examples:  "The mother pulled the unruly child aside and told her exactly how the cow ate the cabbage."   

And, "After being publicly berated by his boss, Joe was painfully aware of how the cow ate the cabbage."

I did some quick internet research on the origins of this odd old saying and came up with several variations of the same basic story.   It dates back to the 1940's (as do I) and originated in the American south.  The saying is based on a popular old joke that may have had its origins in an actual incident.  Basically it goes something like this:

An old woman with poor eyesight was standing at her kitchen window when she spotted what she thought was a cow in her garden eating her cabbages.  She called the sheriff to report the matter and when he asked he what the problem was, she began by saying "You wouldn't believe me if I told you," but she then she told him anyway and said that a cow was in her garden pulling up her cabbages with its "tail" and then eating them.  It turns out the "cow" was a young elephant that had escaped from a traveling circus.  The old woman was adamant as she told the sheriff exactly how the cow was eating her cabbages.

In the piece that Tim is reading for me I also impart some of my mother's other colloquialisms onto one of the characters:  "I'll swan" (I swear) and "for pity's sake" (used for emphasis or to express annoyance).  Have you heard those before?  Do you know - or use - some others?   I'd hate to be the only one left who jabbers gibberish!